Poetic Therapy (a series) #1 - Self-actualization and action

Life moves fast and hard. Emotions move fast and hard. Thoughts move fast and hard. All aspects of my human experience have been about survival. I think too much, I hold grudges, and I forgive too easily. That’s the curse of being a Gemini; your spirit is constantly torn between two forms of what you really are. We, the survivalist group, can be eccentric, fun to be around, and dependable, but are also holders of our emotions. Most, if not everything, is internalized and released in the most inadequate ways. Thoughts are powerful and if not controlled, can lead a person down a dark road of criticality or unresolved anger. I wasn’t aware of the power of my thoughts until I was halfway through high school. This is the beginning of therapy.

I started writing poetry in the 10th grade at Battery Creek High School located in Beaufort, South Carolina. My English teacher required essays on Edgar Allen Poe and she taught us how to write haikus. While serving in the military, I joined a poetry group called “The Circle” during my tour at Osan Air Base, Republic of Korea. I am still in touch with that group 22+ years later. I also recited my poetry in front of audiences about 4 times in different locations. Poetry has traveled with me: from South Carolina to Hawaii; from military training in Texas to California; from South Korea to Guam; from Italy to Florida; from Germany to Italy (again); and to central Georgia. I can’t recall the actual day or the year, but I realized writing was therapeutic for me. It allowed me to release my frustrations, to express my feelings, to expose the hurt, and to admit the shame. Poetry allows me to be vulnerable in a way that human interaction wouldn’t allow. Poetry allows self-actualization.

2 in the 1, continued – a free verse

Its expression is blank like a mime, void of verbiage.

It has no thoughts and to entice it to talk,

I stare it down – this piece of emotionless paper.

“Read my mind and tell my truth”, I demand.

Subconsciously the cold black pen speaks, oozing knowledge.

There’s lessons, ideas, and creativity; things only the Gemini can see.

Each parallel line is full and no white space is available.

I scribe and scribble…the well dribbles…

all over the once blank, expressionless page.

My caged mind has conversations with pen and paper.

Words, metaphors, and symbolisms control me...

my eyes wandering over previous sentences.

Will I make sense to the lost and uneducated souls –

The Mute-Minded?

Words in a line don’t talk back and lines in a stanza don’t judge. Poetry is my happy place. Poetry is the free speech we hear about. Poetry is exclusive and inclusive, all at the same time. To read my poetry is to learn who I am. In the journal article Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing, authors Karen Baikie and Kay Wilhelm state, “Confronting a trauma through talking or writing about it and acknowledging the associated emotions is thought to reduce the physiological work of inhibition, gradually lowering the overall stress on the body” (341). Life is filled with traumatic experiences and I dug my way through these experiences by writing poetry. Poetry promotes action.

• Baikie, Karen A., and Kay Wilhelm. “Emotional and Physical Health Benefits of Expressive Writing.” Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, vol. 11, no. 5, 2005, pp. 338–346., doi:10.1192/apt.11.5.338.